Snow (Or Lack Thereof) and the British

Hey look, it’s a blog post that isn’t about how depressed I am! Joy of joys!

If you are a member of Twitter then you may well have seen the hashtag #uksnow. Yes, that’s right – it snowed in the UK for once! It was amazing how suddenly a tiny bit on snow caused Twitter to go haywire, with #uksnow hitting around 5th or 4th in the top trending topics for a few hours. That’s what us Brits are like – obsessed with the weather – but even more obsessed with snow! Every year we wish for it to snow properly – but it rarely happens. It did early this year, in February, I think, and it was awesome. Today (where I was at least) it hardly snowed at all, and only for about an hour. But in that hour, I dared to hope – dare to hope it would snow properly, and lay!

Alas, it did not happen. But I hope, at some point in the coming month or so, that it does. It would be awesome!

Clingy

M and J are having some problems, as you do in a relationship. Basically, M is being very clingy. She always was so, but when there were both in the same place, it wasn’t a problem, but in fact a good thing. Now he’s at uni, it isn’t. She expects him to call practically every day, and although I say to her that it’s ok because obviously this is a difficult time for her, but I do think that she is going over the top. I mean, he has essays to write, a lot of reading to do, yet she still expects for him to call her every night and talk for hours on end.

I dunno about him, but if I was in his position, I’d be out of there faster than a dog out of a dog-track gate. Part of me wants to tell her that this is not the way to go about things, but then she is a very fragile person, and I can understand that it’s hard, given that she and him used to spend practically all their time together, so I’ve decided to just support her. It’s not fair on J, but there’s nothing I can do.

My Girlfriend Situation (Or Lack Thereof) Is Getting Silly

I hate myself. I really hate myself. I’m an opportunistic w****r who has the principles of a idiot and a lack of intelligence to boot.

Before it was just when I was drunk that I was obsessed with hugs – now it’s seeped into my everyday personality and has festered.

The hugging is no longer about being friendly, though, I’ve realised. It’s now turned into a clever ploy (that will never work anyway) to create an opportunity whereby, in our drunken states, me and whatever female friend I happen to select for a hug will, by matter of getting carried away, want to get more intimate with me. It has gotten to such an extent that I find myself planning, well in advance (as in, days before any party is due to take place) how to create such an opportunity.

I cannot believe myself for being this way. I hate it. I’m so sexually frustrated that I use these underhand methods to try and get a decent kiss off one of my friends, which is wrong, even if I will admit there is a part of me that does fancy them. It’s so wrong, disgusting, abhorrent and depressing. It has to stop – from now on, no more hugging for me, except for when greeting them.

I also have to make sure that I don’t mention the fact I’m not hugging to anyone, since I know that that is another, perhaps worse, ploy to get them to be intimate with me. I’ve used the sympathetic angle too many times, and it has to stop. In fact, yes, that is a far worse trick to play. I cannot allow myself to try and play that trick.

I wish I didn’t know anything about sex. I wish I didn’t have to think about girls all the time. I wish I wasn’t so depressed about it. I wish I could just forget about the whole girls side of life. I wish I could get on with my life. But I can’t. I just… can’t…

The Trouble With Poetry

The trouble I find with writing poetry is the structure. I, for some stupid reason, follow a really misguided form of poetry which dictates that each stanza must have the same amount of lines and similar structure, and that if I use rhyme in one stanza, then it has to be used in a similar fashion for all the other stanzas. All it means is that if I start rhyming I eventually get to the point where I find that to say what I want to say means stopping the rhyming. But that then means I have to change the other stanzas to match the new structure.

Poetry doesn’t have to rhyme – it fact, it rarely does – but for some reason I think it does. I don’t know why, really. I suppose it’s because when it doesn’t rhyme, it just sounds like I’m talking normally, not a poem, and that if that is the case, then I might as well – indeed, it would probably work much better – if I just wrote it as normal writing, like I am here, rather than a poem. Therefore it make it seem worth writing as a poem, it has to have a structure to make it deliberately seem like not mere prose.

I’m so stupid.

Friends and Friendship

My friends are all far away
How much I wish that they could stay
But hey, that’s life

Although they are far away
They, in my thoughts, do stay
It strengthens me

Memories come to me, make me smile
Them being away, yes, is a trial
But these memories sustain me

It makes me value them all the more
And from my heart, love does pour
When I think of them

I cannot wait to see them soon
It is almost like they have been on the moon
Or somewhere similarly far

For without them, I am miserable
Without them, life is not worth living
Without them, I am nothing

My Last Poem

I’m kinda disappointed that my last post didn’t get any views or comments, as I thought it was quite good, myself. Perhaps I just posted it at a bad time, and not many people saw it, or something. Or perhaps it was just because it was rubbish. I suppose I’ll never know…

Like Something Divine

It appeared to me like something divine
Light seemed to radiate from it – I’m on cloud nine

The long, flowing hair reflects that light
I want to resist, but cannot, try as I might

The eyes, that sparkle like the stars in the sky
Seem almost like invitations, but I am too shy

The beaming smile seems to light up it’s face
Beams love into my soul, and emits a certain grace

The almost perfect body, the warmth that it can bestow
I long to experience it, but can only for a short time, and rarely, do so

I want to have it, to hold it, for us two to become one
But this can never happen – plans always become undone

Bloody U.S Extreme Right Nut-Cases

A comment by what was clearly one of the American right-wing nut-jobs on a Times article really made me just so-bloody-frustrated! Look for someone called Fred Netz on these two articles: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/environment/article6951874.ece http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article6952051.eceI get so bloody frustrated with their dogmatic view of the world. Here is my argument.

• “The Left” – apparently, anyone who isn’t extremely right-wing is a leftie. Take Barack Obama. Right-wingers view him as a ’socialist’ set out to ‘ruin America’. However, if he was up for election in any sensible country, most people would see that he is actually right-wing – as almost all U.S politicians are (if you’re using a sensible left – right spectrum). According to right-wingers, all people on ‘the left’ are ‘Communists’ in the style of Karl Marx. This is simply not true. Take Obama’s healthcare plan – he is actually doing it out of a right-wing agenda to save money by making the unnecessarily complicated current system simpler and so cheaper, not to some ‘mad’ plan to create an NHS-style system (even though the NHS works very well – the UK is 22nd for life expectancy while the U.S is 38th: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_life_expectancy#List_by_the_United_Nations_.28average_for_the_2005-2010_period.29). Having an NHS-type system, I suspect, would save even more money.
• “Socialism” – apparently, ’socialist’ actually means ‘Marxist’ – to right-wingers, at least. Socialism is merely the idea that the state should help the poor if they need it. Almost all socialist parties have subscribed to this, not some Marxist idea of nationalisation of industry e.t.c In fact, these right-wingers should like this, as does not the Bible say that you should help the poor and unfortunate? Some even say that socialism’s routes can be traced back to Jesus and Christianity.
• “Left-wing media” – apparently, every news channel that doesn’t do what Fox News does, is left-wing. Anybody who dislikes the Republican Party or even likes it but still criticises is a socialist and should be shot as a traitor. Or something. On a side note, Fox News isn’t a news channel – it’s the propaganda arm of the Republican Party. If it was broadcast anywhere else it would be told that it shouldn’t present itself as a news channel because it would be considered grossly misleading to viewers. But that’s by-the-by.”Liberals” – according to right-wingers, like ‘lefties’ and ’socialism’, ‘liberals’ and ‘liberalism’ is the same as Marxism, and is fundamentally un-American. Yet somehow, the Founding Fathers, some of the greatest liberals ever, are not described in this way. Isn’t that ironic? If the Founding Fathers were around today they’d be criticised for being Marxist traitors, since, to right-wingers, the idea that “all men should be equal” is a Marxist idea. They’d have it that the constitution read “All men were created unequal, and if you don’t like that you are not an American and should be deported immediately”.
• “The state”. According to right-wingers, we shouldn’t have a state at all, so we can all be slaves to the big industrialists, who’d pay people practically nothing. Of course, this would quickly collapse when people find they don’t have enough money to buy food, and all starve to death, or die of horrible diseases because there is no state to help them. We need the state, otherwise the world would fall into anarchy.

Rant over.

It’s Funny How Smiles Do That

The other day I was at work and one of the girls that usually works on the tills was helping us out on the shopfloor.  This girl has only been here for a few months and I haven’t really paid much attention to her, since we work in different areas of the store. But I digress.

As I was saying, the other day she was helping us out on the shopfloor. Well, as I was walking along, putting some stock out, as I do. Then she came out of one of the aisles and was clearly laughing at something, or very happy for some reason, because she had a beaming smile on her face. As she walked past me, she still had that fantastic smile on her face, and she looked at me.

When she smiled at me like that, a shiver went down my spine, it was really weird. I know people say that smiling and making eye contact is supposed to make people more attracted to you, but, damn! (ok, just imagine Will Smith saying it, a la Men In Black, then you get what that “damn!” was supposed to sound like lol) We were working with her again today and she seems like a really nice person. She is also really pretty as well.

I think I’ve got a bit of a crush on her. Oh dear. I’ll just have to try not to think about it.

It’s funny how smiles do that, though.

Girls and Winter

What is it about girls that think that in cold weather they still need to wear skirts and have exposed legs? Or rather, what is it about society that makes them think that they should sacrifice warmth for the preying eyes of men?

I mean, surly they must be freezing! How can they stand having their legs exposed in conditions like that? It is because they want to still look sexy for guys? Do they actually not mind the cold? Do they somehow have special insulation yet unknown to man to enable them to not be freezing?

Don’t get me wrong, I like seeing girls in short skirts, with their sexy legs exposed, as much as the next man (providing that next man isn’t gay. I joke), but it does very much concern me also – as you can see by this post. Perhaps I’m wrong, perhaps they don’t actually mind the cold… but I doubt it.