Archive

Posts Tagged ‘virgin’

An Injustice (J-O)

This morning when I woke up I had a thought. A thought about one major injustice in my recent life. That me and J-O were ‘together’ for over a year and yet I never had sex with her, whereas this new boyfriend of hers has not known her nearly as long, nor will have been in a relationship with her for anywhere near as long, yet will probably get to have sex with her soon, if they haven’t had sex already. Read more…

Advertisements

Work Antics

The other day where I work one of my colleagues was talking about one of my other colleagues. She said that she had complained about him because his mood was ‘affecting his co-workers’ and he was apparently told by somebody, I’m not sure who, that he ‘needs to get laid’ and he apparently cried. Now I’m not sure if this was a joke, but even if it was it was a pretty insensitive, and if it wasn’t, then its very insensitive and out of order, even if this was said to him in jest.

What made it all the more awful to my mind is the fact that this guy is several years younger than me yet he’s already been teased for his lack of success with women. If they think that’s he’s strange for not being successful with women, then imagine what they would find out that I’m an (almost) 21 year-old virgin who has never had a proper girlfriend.

It also vindicates my long-standing policy of putting on a ‘brave face’ in public; to look and act depressed in public is just asking for unwanted attention to yourself. Much better to bottle it up now and regret it later than to reveal your feelings to everyone and be mocked. The world is much better if they don’t know how I really feel; hence this blog…

 

Virginity Poll

I have been thinking about sex recently and I decided that, as with my thoughts about first kisses, at what age people lose their virginity? So I decided to do a poll. I’ve put a fairly wide range of ages but I do hope that if the age you lost your virginity isn’t an option, you write it in the comments!

Also, if you haven’t lost your virginity yet, please post your thoughts on the subject in the comments!

Reflecting on J-O

It’s strange, but I haven’t really felt that upset about the end of my relationship with J-O. Although, yes, we’d not been getting on well for the past month or so, we’d had a year and a half of a great (albeit online) relationship. I’d have thought I’d at least feel a bit upset. But I haven’t. In face, I’ve cried at LOTR extended editions (that I just bought on Blu-ray and am seeing for the first time) this week but not about this.

This seems strange to me. I dunno, maybe it’s because we haven’t been getting on so well, that’s why I’m not upset. Perhaps I’ve finally realised that what I’ve been missing out on in life, love, a girlfriend, isn’t great like I’d imagined. Or perhaps I’m still partly in denial; we only met once so it’s not like I’m missing her in person so much, my mind can just believe that she’s just not talking for a while and will come back. It’s strange to not be upset.

I think something good has come out of this though: I don’t have to worry about relationships so much any more. I now know what I’m missing out on: a load of shit. It is a notion that feels very liberating. I must say though that I am still anxious about one thing: my ‘virginity’. Now that there’s not much prospect of doing it with anyone I like in the near future, I want to cast aside the notion that my first time should mean something, and just get it out the way so, just like this and my newfound ambivalence about getting a girlfriend, I can stop worrying about it.

It’s stupid, I know, but I’ve had enough. Though it hardly matters because nobody’s going to want to do it with me in the near future anyway.

Good Night Out

I had a pretty good night out last night. Me and a friend went to see The King’s Speech, which was fantastic. It was better than I thought it would be, it really lived up to the hype. I was particularly surprised at what great acting Colin Firth did (he went to the same college as me, Barton Peveril, although not at the same time of course!). Then we went on to a pub to watch the Southampton vs Man U FA Cup game. OK we lost, but we did score the first goal, were better in the first half and we only lost 2 – 1, which isn’t too bad considering our respective positions in English football.

Although I was planning to go home after watching the match, my friend persuaded me to go out to some pubs/clubs with him and his mates who had just arrived. I had an OK time. I enjoyed the booze and watching my friend try (unsuccessfully) to pull girls, but I didn’t enjoy the music in most of those places – I prefer 90 Degrees and Reflex. The only think I didn’t enjoy was when his friends started teasing about my virginity. I don’t know who brought it up but the logical conclusion is that it could have only been my friend – and even then I didn’t realise he knew/suspected I was still a virgin (I’m 19!! 😦 ) I abandoned them around 11:30 after my friend abandoned us when he ‘pushed in’ on the queue to get into a club – presumably he knew the guy on the door.

Some good and bad points to the night, but I enjoyed it overall.

The Word ‘Virginity’

I always hesitate to use the word ‘virginity’ in my posts, it’s kinda strange, but I think I know why.

For most of time, ‘virginity’ has been associated with women – it was considered (and to some extent still is considered) as virtue to be a virgin. In contrast, to be a man and be a ‘virgin’ is to be a complete failure at being a man. This still holds true today, with men still considered to be a good man by sleeping with as many women as possible.

Therefore, for me to say ‘virgin’ is an immediate attack on my masculinity, and therefore makes me pause any time I think about writing that word.

It’s certainly a thought-provoking subject…

(That was a terrible way to end this post. It almost seemed to have no point at all, with an ending like that.)

The Most Sheltered Existance in the History of University Life

Yeah I’ve just realised I’ve probably lead, and am going to lead, the most sheltered university life ever.

I was talking to a friend you see and he’s been to lots of parties and clubbing e.t.c every week and says his girl total so far (I’m not sure if this is just making out or sex or what, he didn’t really say, although I suspect it’s the latter rather than the former (who really uses ‘latter’ and ‘former’ these days anyway?) because, well, that’s how teenagers are) is 11 – and 4 of those were in freshers week!

I’m going to come out of university even more of a social misfit than when I went in, and will still be a complete virgin for probably a long time after that even. Then again, sex and girls aren’t everything in life.

At least, that’s what I try to tell myself – but it doesn’t ever get through…

%d bloggers like this: