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Be Right Back Etiquette

Here’s why I’m now not happy and so am back blogging:

J-O and I were talking on Skype, as usual, on Tuesday. At one point I decided to check if we were still going to watch a film on Wednesday as we had planned. But instead of giving a response, she said “brb” (be right back). I thought that was strange in itself, the fact that she seemed to deliberately avoid the question.

50 minutes later, she still wasn’t back. That also annoyed me, since by definition, ‘be right back’ does not mean you’ll take a long time. I think 20 mins is the very limit, which a friend of mine agreed with. It not only seems rude but it’s frustrating; I’d much rather she say something like, ‘oh, I’m going to go do whatever, I’ll probably be a while’ then I could not think about it, where she is, what she’s doing, why she’s not back.

So, like I said, it was 50 mins after she said “brb” and I was tired, not to mention a little annoyed. So I decided to go to bed. I said “I’m tired, I’m off to bed now, see ya” (the lack of affection, the casualness of “see ya”, said deliberately to imply I was annoyed) and signed out of Skype and turn off my computer.

But that’s not the end of it. When I signed in the next day and she did a bit later (Skype only sends messages received when you were offline when the other person signs in you see, unlike msn), I received a message from her, which said “oh sorry I am back [and then saying goodnight]”. Skype indicated that this message was sent 1 minute after I’d gone offline. It was almost as if she was still there all along, like she was ignoring me. If she didn’t want to talk to me at least she could have said she was going and doing something and wouldn’t be back for a while (as I said), or that she was going to bed. But making out like she still wants to talk to me then showing she’s there all along seems harsh to me.

Am I overreacting? All I know it that it pissed me off and put me in a very bad mood…

Time For A Break

I’ve decided that I shall take a break from talking to M  on MSN or inviting her around my house from now on. This doesn’t mean, however, that I will ignore her if she talks toNot that I talk to her much anyway these days, by that’s not the point.  I decided to do this for several reasons. And those reasons come under two broad sections, one ‘selfish’, the other ‘selfless’.

The selfish reasons are:

  • These days when we talk she plays her Xbox at the same time and takes about 10 minutes to reply. I can’t tolerate this any longer. (See this post).
  • She is the only person around since everyone went off to university and I need to get used to her not being around before she actually isn’t any more.
  • However, I must admit I do suspect that my subconscious may partly be influencing me to make this decision so that she will talk to me more again, though I do recognise this possibility and will strongly attempt to resist it from having that effect.

The selfless reasons include:

  • Today I remembered about how she said when J, her boyfriend, is away that she starts thinking about others, including me. I don’t want to undermine that in any way, however slight. (See this post).
  • When I talk to her I almost always end up talking about myself, or saying something stupid, and I don’t want to put her through any more of that.

I Hate To See Her Upset

E is feeling very unhappy today, she’s having a lot of problems all cropping up at once, it seems, and this, coupled with it coming up to the anniversary of a close relative’s death, means she’s pretty sad at the moment. I do so hate to see her sad, as she’s such a nice and happy person, she always makes me smile.

So I had a talk to her on MSN about it. At first I said that I wish I could help but I didn’t really know what to say. Then she said “just you being there is enough :)”. That was really cute, I said “aww” and “you always make me smile and I hate to see you upset”. She liked that, responding with “:) * hug *” which I returned. About her relationship problems, I told her she was a really nice person and deserved somebody. She seemed to cheer up after all that, which was good. We talked about other stuff and at the end of the conversation she said “thanks for the chat 🙂 really needed it”. I was pleased that I’d managed to cheer her up a bit, and just said “that’s ok, it’s what I’m here for”.

Although her problems are still present, I hope I went a little way into cheering her up. She such a nice person, I hate to see her upset. I just wanted to go visit her straight away and give her a big hug. Luckily easter is just round the corner so I’ll be seeing her soon. I can’t wait 😀

Categories: Friends, Friendship, Life, Thoughts Tags: , , ,

More Good News

I’m a bit surer that that Bulgarian girl likes me now. Two days ago, when we were talking on Skype, she asked me what I was doing. Funnily enough, at the time I was actually talking to E about how I fancied her. (E was very happy for me, she was like “aww”.) I thought about saying “oh, just talking to a friend on MSN”, but then I had a good idea. I said I was talking to a friend on MSN, but then said I was talking about her. Naturally, she asked what I said, and I simply replied “about how u contacted me and how nice you are and stuff”. I eagerly awaiting how she would respond to this. She said “ I am glad that you think it about me and I feel the same.” I just thought “wow she said she feels the same way” 😀 😀 Of course it’s not like she directly says she likes me in that way, but it’s a good start 🙂 She wasn’t online last night though and I was quite disappointed. One of my friends asked “missing her? lol” and I was like, “a bit :oops:”

EDIT: I only just received a message from her that she apparently sent yesterday that I didn’t get, it was really sweet. She said:
[my name] just to tell you
good night and
sweet  dreams
have a good day
tomorrow
🙂

Disappointingly, however, I realised yesterday that September is still 6 months away 😦 Even if she does like me now, I hope she doesn’t lose interest by then 😦

Too Much Focus On Girl-Friends

Last night (night is a time when I do a lot of my musings that end up on here) I just realised something. For ages now, I’ve been focussing most of my attention on my female friends. They are mostly the people I invite over these days, I haven’t had a male friend come round for a while now. It’s the same with MSN conversations, they are almost exclusively with girls these days. I suppose it must be a sort of slight release valve for sexual frustration that I feel.

Well, this trend stops now. I shall not use my female friends in this way. From now on, I will make an effort to see more of my male friends. It’s quite a good time to realise this, since I also recently realised that I’m drifting apart from some of my male friends, which I don’t want to do.

This is very good realisation.

Am I Scared Of Girls?

During an interesting and rather surreal MSN conversation once, somebody asked me “are you afraid of girls or something.” I did, like any man would, say categorically “no”. But then, unlike a lot of guys, when I said that, I was lying. Am I scared of girls? You bet I am.

I dunno what it is about girls that scare me (when I say girls, I mean like, ones I don’t know – I’m not scared of girls I know. Much). Perhaps it is their ‘otherness’, the fact they are different, which means I don’t know how they think or act, that scares me. I don’t like trying to start a conversation with one, through not knowing the best way to start a conversation with one these other-worldly beings. I am certainly scared of intimate contact with girls, as my previously-mentioned-in-this-blog dislike of spin-the-bottle (by the current people-of-my-age standards a positively tame game) and in real life just general aversion of intimacy. Perhaps I’m scared they’ll get to know me, and dislike me, even though there is (possibly, I’m not so convinced) a just-as-likely chance that they’ll actually like me.

I dunno, really. I’m just messed up.

Talk To Me Properly, Or Don’t Bother At All

Picture the scene. You’re talking to someone and halfway through they suddenly walk away and play a video game for 5 minutes, come back and expect you to carry on like nothing has happened. That’s what has essentially what happened the last few times I’ve talked to M on MSN. I’d be talking to her and she’d take about 5 minutes later finally reply. If you’re going to go on MSN and talk to people, do so. If you want to sign off MSN and play a game, do so. Don’t try and do both and end up being very rude and have to pause your game every 5 minutes to go back to your computer to reply. After a while she said “brb” (be right back), and only came back 20 minutes later when I was going to say goodbye, at which point she revealed she’d decided to fire up her Xbox.

I just don’t understand it at all. Maybe I’m just old fashioned, but when your talking to someone, aren’t you supposed to give them at least most of your attention? Does she not get how rude it is? Also, isn’t it simply inconvenient to try and talk to someone on your computer and play a game at the same time? I know I’d hate doing that. I cannot understand why she couldn’t just have said “I’m going off to play Dragon Age: Origins, see you soon, bye” or whatever. Why did she try and talk to me and try and play the game? It really doesn’t make sense to me. Also, it’s about manners, like I said. Is it not her basically saying to me ‘a videogame is important than talking to you, my friend’. At least I know where I stand, I suppose…

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