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The Grad Ball

Well, I got back from Portsmouth a few hours ago after staying in my friend’s hotel room for the night, although I didn’t get much sleep because of his snoring.

The Grad Ball was a decidedly mixed affair. On the one hand I enjoyed the meal I had with my friend and his housemates at Pizza Express beforehand, and at the Ball itself I enjoyed  ‘silent disco’ they had going – we spent several hours in there. Unfortunately, the rest of it was kind of rubbish. The club bit was fun kinda fun when they were just playing music, but when the band came on we all found it uncomfortably loud – I myself found it rather unpleasant, so we soon left for the silent disco. This night was made worse by the fact it took about 15 – 20 mins to queue to buy a drink, so me and my friends soon gave up trying to drink – I only had 4 drinks in the 5 hours (we arrived at 9pm and left at 2am, when it had started at 7pm and ended at 3am, and the ‘after party’ went on until 5am) we were there, and that I started to feel a bit unwell after an hour or so, for unknown reasons. I can’t say it would have been any better if J-O was there or if I’d been able to have more drinks though. Overall, the time we spent in the club and the silent disco was fun, but for the rest of the time I felt a fair bit like I did at my secondary school prom – different, alone while surrounded by either (a) couples, (b) confident guys or (b) confident and good-looking girls.

To be honest I’m surprised I expected anything more from the evening. I know what I’m like, I should have seen it would have been like this…

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Less Than 1 Week Until Grad Ball…

It’s less than 1 week until my university’s Graduation Ball and I still have no idea if J-O will be coming. I sent her a message last weekend (7th) reminding her that it was in two week’s time, to which she didn’t respond. Although it was not a message that was worded in a way that required a response, it would be nice if she’d acknowledged it, as her ignoring things usually means no. But as I say, the message didn’t require a response, so I hope it’s not an indication that she’s backing out. I tried to chat to her on Thursday, just generally; she did respond initially, but then stopped, although I think fb chat was having problems that day. So, basically, with less than a week to go I still have no idea if she’s coming or not.

She’s been back in the UK almost 3 weeks now but I’ve not talked to her much, because I don’t want to get on her nerves. I’m hoping that my lack of contact will not be interpreted negatively, as used to be a problem. Usually these days she views lack of contact a good thing, as it shows I only like her as a friend, so I hope she’ll take it that way (although you never can tell with her). The plan is that I will send her a message tomorrow saying that we should arrange a time to talk about the Grad Ball in the next few days. If she ignores it, I know where I stand; if she does arrange a chat, I will still be very skeptical, but it will be overall taken as a positive indication.

Overall, I’m 99% sure she’ll say she can’t come, for some reason or another, if true or not. Basically, I can’t trust a word she says any more. I think it’s a good thing. At least this way I’m not disappointed when she inevitably says she ‘can’t come’. To be honest, I’m not even sure I want her there – I’m not sure how I’d feel seeing her for the first time in 6 months, especially as she’ll be all dressed-up. If she does come, I better not drink too much because I am likely to get ‘over-friendly’ if so. I just wish I knew if she was coming, and that I’d feel ok about it…

Finished Uni!

Tutu

It’s official. I’ve finally finished uni. I had no exams, all my essays have been handed in, all books returned and any outstanding fines are paid. Now I’m just waiting for my result – which is looking kinda shaky, I may end up with a Desmond.  But there’s nothing I can do about it now. I shall be spending the next month or so until my graduation relaxing and searching for graduate jobs. I may not end up with a proper graduate job, I may have to get an ordinary job just to tie me over for a while.

The summer might be ok apart from that. I’m going to see Tenacious D in London next week and I shall be going to Amsterdam with a few friends at the end of August. Also, something might be happening between me and that J-R girl (but then it might not).

I’m not sure what I’m going to do with this blog once I’ve graduated. I’ll probably stop using it, since it was supposed to only be about my teenage years (hence my username) but got extended to include my uni years. I’m not sure if I’ll start another one right away, as I doubt I’ll have anything much to talk about for a while. If I did do another blog, I have no idea what I’d call it. If I do start another blog in the next year or so though I will be sure to post it here (if it’s anonymous).

Anyway, I’ll probably have a few posts between now and graduation, so see you all around 🙂

Getting Restless

Over the last few weeks I’ve changed somewhat. Beforehand, I’d envisioned staying in Southampton my whole life, because I love this city and couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. But recently I realised that staying here is only holding me back – for me to make a better life for myself I need to get away, get out of my comfort zone. I also realised that I want to go into something to do with government or politics, and for that I need to look towards London. I just feel that my life is going nowhere stuck here, that I need to branch out, to move, to take charge of my own life, in order to progress. In pursuit of this I’ve applied for several jobs in London. I have no idea if I’ll get them. In fact, I’m feeling rather pessimistic about it.

All I know is, I have to do something and, if I can’t get a job there and move right away, I have to do it within the next few years. I just can’t stand staying at home, staying in this city of limited opportunities; it is holding me back.

Grad Ball?

The other day I got an email from my university reminding me about tickets for the Graduation Ball. Unlike previous such emails (which went into the ‘trash’ without a thought), I stopped and realised I hadn’t actually considered at all if I should go to this shindig. There are two strands of thought I have on this issue.

The first and most obvious one of these strands is regret. I would probably regret not going – after all, it’s only going to happen once. I may enjoy it. Even if I didn’t enjoy it, at least I can say I went; if you can say you went, you don’t have to reveal how you felt about it, whereas if you say you didn’t even go then you’d be instantly siezed on, with people saying energetically “were you insane!?” (or words to that effect).

The second and the one that sprang first to my mind is indifference. I would probably regret going – after all, I didn’t enjoy my prom, at which there were many more people that I knew, so why would I enjoy this? I’d just stand around looking like a right numpty, especially with no nice lady-friend to dance with (which I assume almost all people will). Admittedly this time I can drink alcohol, which would make it easier to grin-and-bear-it.

Overall I’m not sure. Besides which, I can’t even afford the ticket at the moment, although that should be sorted by tomorrow with a bit of a switcheroo of funds within my myriad of different accounts, from ISAs to savings to current accounts. I dunno. Maybe I should go. Especially since shame and peer pressure is such a powerful force in my life. Maybe I should ask if J-O wants to accompany me, which would solve the lady-friend problem, although she’d have to pay for herself.

Quite Interesting – Munich’s Oktoberfest

The other day, I told you about something interesting I discovered on QI. Well, that episode also brought something else to my attention – Oktoberfest. Now, obviously, I’d heard of it before, but it never occurred to me before to actually go. Well, QI mentioning it made me think me and my friends should go. I posted it on Facebook, and all my friends agreed it was the ‘best idea ever’. Then I started seriously considering it. I thought about doing it this year but we already have another group outing planned in the summer so I thought we’d do it next year, as a graduation treat.

I later discovered we couldn’t have gone this year anyway, since it’s already sold out (as in the only places to stay left are expensive hotels and the best tents are booked up). Apparently, it’s best to book no later than January to get the cheapest hotels/best tents. After looking it up on blogs and stuff, I think I’ve got a good guide together (which I will post in another post for anybody that fancies going). The only trouble with it is that if we have to book before January, nobody is going to know what they’ll be doing in 10/9 months time, especially since most of them will be out of uni and into the ‘real world’ by then. Hopefully I’ll be able to convince them to commit by saying, basically, that this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and we just have to pledge that we will go, even though we don’t know what we’ll be doing at that point. I only hope that argument works because, if not, then we won’t be able to go.

Here’s fingers crossed to when I have to do that!

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