Archive for November, 2009

The Word ‘Virginity’

I always hesitate to use the word ‘virginity’ in my posts, it’s kinda strange, but I think I know why.

For most of time, ‘virginity’ has been associated with women – it was considered (and to some extent still is considered) as virtue to be a virgin. In contrast, to be a man and be a ‘virgin’ is to be a complete failure at being a man. This still holds true today, with men still considered to be a good man by sleeping with as many women as possible.

Therefore, for me to say ‘virgin’ is an immediate attack on my masculinity, and therefore makes me pause any time I think about writing that word.

It’s certainly a thought-provoking subject…

(That was a terrible way to end this post. It almost seemed to have no point at all, with an ending like that.)


The Funniest Thing I’ve Ever Heard

I was talking on Facebook Chat to a friend about the thing I was talking about in my blog post I posted a little earlier (see it here) and she said the funniest thing I’ve ever heard:

u cud so get with girls if u wanted 2

I said thanks for saying it to her but inside I was just laughing so much. Nothing could be further from the truth. The trouble is, I don’t like being single and that but refuse to attend some parties I’m invited too and even if I did go I wouldn’t try and ‘pull’ somebody. Mainly because I’m too scared but also because I know that nobody in their right mind would hook up with me (or if they were blind for that matter). I’m totally screwed, but hopefully I’ll soon learn to accept this and be able to get on with my life.

The Most Sheltered Existance in the History of University Life

Yeah I’ve just realised I’ve probably lead, and am going to lead, the most sheltered university life ever.

I was talking to a friend you see and he’s been to lots of parties and clubbing e.t.c every week and says his girl total so far (I’m not sure if this is just making out or sex or what, he didn’t really say, although I suspect it’s the latter rather than the former (who really uses ‘latter’ and ‘former’ these days anyway?) because, well, that’s how teenagers are) is 11 – and 4 of those were in freshers week!

I’m going to come out of university even more of a social misfit than when I went in, and will still be a complete virgin for probably a long time after that even. Then again, sex and girls aren’t everything in life.

At least, that’s what I try to tell myself – but it doesn’t ever get through…


Sometimes I wonder about English. Is it dying out in it’s ‘proper’ form?
In the future, will you see poems like this?

Out of us all
That make rhymes
Will u choose
Sumtimes –
As the winds use
A crack in a wall
Or a drain,
Their joy or their pain
To whistle thru –
Choose me,
U English words?

I kno u:
U r light as dreams,
Tough as oak,
Precious as gold,
As poppies and corn,
Or an old cloak:
Sweet as r birds
To the ear,
As the burnet rose
In the heat
Of Midsummer:
Strange as the races
Of dead and unborn:
Strange and sweet
And familiar,
To the i,
As the dearest faces
That a man knows,
And as lost homes r:
But tho older far
Than oldest yew, –
As our hills are, old, –
Worn new
Again and again:
Young as r streams
After rain:
And as dear
As the earth which u prove
That we luv.

Make me content
With some sweetness
From Wales
Whose nightingales
Have no wings, –
From Wiltshire and Kent
And Herefordshire, –
And the villages there, –
From the names, and the things
No less.
Let me sometimes dance
With u,
Or climb
Or stand perchance
In ecstasy,
Fixed and free
In a rhyme,
As poets do.

Okay that was an awful example as I couldn’t actually change many words, but the choice of poem in the case of it’s content was appropriate, so 😛


If somebody hates themselves
They have to find a reason to live

My reason is my friends,
I just want to make them happy

Yet at the same time, because of my hatred
I think I only make them angry, or bored
Or both

Yet no matter how much you love others
You will always hate yourself more.

I Don’t Need Reminding!

I wish people didn’t ask me about girlfriend situation, or lack thereof. I really don’t need reminding about how lonely I feel! I especially don’t like it if the person asking has a girlfriend/boyfriend themselves and are getting on fine. It’s so depressing, and angering! I hate them for bringing such things up – I don’t want to know, do you hear me?
I. Don’t. Want. To. Know!

Also, it’s so hard to try and cheer other people up about how far away they are from their boyfriend/girlfriend when I don’t even have a girlfriend in the first place. Grr 😦

Tried A Condom For The First Time

I tried a condom on for the first time today. The only reason I even have one was because when I was at a pub with my mates a few months back, we ended up talking about sex and stuff for some reason and I mentioned I’d never tried a condom on. One of my friends then gave me one, with an instruction manual leaflet thingy on it, so I could then try one for the first time at some point (not right there and then obviously). Only today did I finally extract it from it’s hiding place and try it on.

All I can say is that I found it very difficult to get it on, it took me several attempts and about three or four minutes to put it on. The main problem was finding out if I had it the right way around, but even when I did, it took me a while to put it on, as it seemed to take much more strength to roll it down that I’d originally anticipated. Luckily for you I won’t go into any more detail on this point, as it’s disgusting, and even worse if my identity is ever discovered.

So yeah, it was an informative experience – I now know how to put a condom on, yay! But it also means I don’t have any condoms now. It doesn’t matter though, I suppose, since it doesn’t look like I’ll be in need of one any time soon.

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