Posts Tagged ‘southampton’

Getting Restless

Over the last few weeks I’ve changed somewhat. Beforehand, I’d envisioned staying in Southampton my whole life, because I love this city and couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. But recently I realised that staying here is only holding me back – for me to make a better life for myself I need to get away, get out of my comfort zone. I also realised that I want to go into something to do with government or politics, and for that I need to look towards London. I just feel that my life is going nowhere stuck here, that I need to branch out, to move, to take charge of my own life, in order to progress. In pursuit of this I’ve applied for several jobs in London. I have no idea if I’ll get them. In fact, I’m feeling rather pessimistic about it.

All I know is, I have to do something and, if I can’t get a job there and move right away, I have to do it within the next few years. I just can’t stand staying at home, staying in this city of limited opportunities; it is holding me back.


My Saturday (J-O Visit to Southampton)

Okay so I know it’s only been a few days since I declared this blog to be over but, considering what happened when I saw J-O yesterday, I thought I’d want to share it. I thought about doing it through my Twitter account but it would take too long, I’d have to do it here on my blog. I mentioned this on Twitter and my followers persuaded me to share it here. I don’t think any of you will like what you hear though. I am sure many of you will think I am crazy, I am an idiot. You are probably right. But I did it. I don’t regret it. Now you will know it, after the ‘read more’ link.

P.S: I am not ressurecting the blog, this is just a one off, though what I said the other day still applies.

Read more…

Internet Dating Sites?

I’ve been thinking recently that I should try internet dating sites. I mean, it’s looking unlikely that I will meet anybody in the normal way any time soon, so why not have a go with it? I’m not saying I’m going to do it any time soon, though. I’d wait until I’ve finished uni at least, since it would only be adding another distraction to my life, and being in third year, about to start properly writing my dissertation, distractions is not what I need.

The only thing is, I wouldn’t want to pay to join any site, I’m not that desperate. Are there even any free dating sites? Surly there must be some somewhere, right? I haven’t looked into it so I don’t know, this is only really a ‘thought experiment’ at this stage. Since most people on the internet love things being free – just look at the massive open-source community – there must be some, wouldn’t you think?

At the same time though, even if there was such a site, would they even have anybody my age on there? Isn’t internet dating for, I dunno, 30, 40+ people? Would they even have any members who live in Southampton? Where do people my age turn to when they want an easier way to find a relationship? Do they just not think about it in that way?

The State of Play

As you may know if you read my blog regularly, J-O is now in the UK working as an au pair. Well, I have phoned her a few times over the past few days and she did not seem to be finding the life of an au pair “agreeable” to her. Certainly, the amount of work the family she is working for is giving her she doesn’t find agreeable.

I phoned her today and she said that yesterday she told the woman (mum) of the family that she felt she was not able to do all the work she was set. Apparently – and understandably – this did not go well. So, tomorrow (well, today now, UK time) she will leave this family and go work for a different family, of whom she knows nothing.

She admitted, though, that the expectations of her are likely to be the same whoever she works as an au pair for. I agreed with this, though in my mind, I didn’t say this to her. She said that she might even go back to Bulgaria. I don’t mind this really, I’d rather she’d be happy in Bulgaria without me than miserable in the UK with me (though I am still in Southampton, not London, but you get what I mean), though I would be very sad and disappointed.

So at the moment she is not sure what will happen. In fact, she’s not even sure we’ll be able to meet on Sunday. She said she will text me when she knows what is going on, which will probably be tomorrow (today, effectively). I really hope we are able to meet at least once, if she does decide to go back. If not, I will be devastated.

Other recent developments:

My First Funeral

Just over a week ago I attended my first funeral. It was for my step-grandfather who died only a week or so before his 90th birthday. Everybody was saying how they thought he would at least hold out until then. He had been in hospital for several weeks, after a heart attack of sorts. He had been living a very sedate lifestyle, shall we say, for the last few years, hardly ever leaving the house, but he was ok, health-wise. It was somewhat of a shock, and to be honest I thought he would recover. But my mum (of whom he was stepfather) said that when she visited him (I could not bear to go myself), he seemed resigned to death and accepted it willingly. Even up to when I heard that he had passed away, I still thought he would have made it. But it was clear that he felt his time was up.

The funeral was not perfect, the priest reading slightly the wrong part of the Gospel, and not doing a proper sermon, but apart from that it was okay. I volunteered to do the first reading, but during the first hymn, just before the reading, I started crying. I must admit that I was not very close to him, but still I was very upset. I regretted not visiting him in hospital, not being able to say goodbye. I am crying a bit as I am typing this, even. Luckily, I managed to compose myself by the time I had to do it. Throughout the day everybody kept saying that I read beautifully, which was nice. When my nan said it to me, I could see she was welling up a bit, and that made me feel even more sad.

After the church service we went to the crematorium, as he was going to be cremated. It was surprisingly short, taking only a few minutes, which made it seem almost trivial, like a conveyor belt. Luckily, my cousin, who is a great singer and guitar player, sung and played his favorite song, The Fields of Athenry. He was not Irish, but my nan and mum is, and when he married my nan he apparently really got into Irish culture, even becoming a Knight of an Irish order, of which the name escapes me. My nan told a funny anecdote about it, saying about how he got up on a stage, at a party with the Irish side of the family, and sang the song, and my nan’s brother turned to her and said “look at that, an Englishman going up to sing the Fields of Athenry, and me sitting here can’t sing a note!” When my cousin played that, it got a lot of people crying, especially me, my mum and one of my aunties. My sister even started crying, and later said to my mum that it was my crying that set her off. I had composed myself after the song was over, but almost burst back into tears again when I saw everyone else still crying.

Lastly, a bit of background on my step-grandfather. He served in India when it was part of the British Empire and served in the RAF in WWII, both of which he used to tell stories about (also, he is mentioned in this article on the BBC History site). He was also a Conservative councillor in Wolverhampton, where he was originally from. Apart from those things, I do not know what he did. Certainly, he was a nice man was proud of his past, his links to England and Ireland. He deserved to at least reach his 90th birthday, I think, but after the stroke, he’d had enough, and that’s fair enough.

Certainly, it is an experience I will never forget. I kept the leaflet from the service to keep as a momento.
RIP John. We will all miss you.

Good Night Out

I had a pretty good night out last night. Me and a friend went to see The King’s Speech, which was fantastic. It was better than I thought it would be, it really lived up to the hype. I was particularly surprised at what great acting Colin Firth did (he went to the same college as me, Barton Peveril, although not at the same time of course!). Then we went on to a pub to watch the Southampton vs Man U FA Cup game. OK we lost, but we did score the first goal, were better in the first half and we only lost 2 – 1, which isn’t too bad considering our respective positions in English football.

Although I was planning to go home after watching the match, my friend persuaded me to go out to some pubs/clubs with him and his mates who had just arrived. I had an OK time. I enjoyed the booze and watching my friend try (unsuccessfully) to pull girls, but I didn’t enjoy the music in most of those places – I prefer 90 Degrees and Reflex. The only think I didn’t enjoy was when his friends started teasing about my virginity. I don’t know who brought it up but the logical conclusion is that it could have only been my friend – and even then I didn’t realise he knew/suspected I was still a virgin (I’m 19!! 😦 ) I abandoned them around 11:30 after my friend abandoned us when he ‘pushed in’ on the queue to get into a club – presumably he knew the guy on the door.

Some good and bad points to the night, but I enjoyed it overall.


I was ill over the Christmas holidays, and as I result I lost some weight. Since everyone always remarks about how I’m getting fat or going to be fat in the future, I thought this would be a good point to start losing weight, when I’ve managed to get a bit of a head start due to my illness.

So, I went on VideoJug earlier and learnt how to do sit-ups properly. I had a go and couldn’t really do a proper one, but hopefully if I keep it up I will slowly be able to do proper ones and lose some weight. I will try and do a few every day, building up hopefully over the next few months, getting better and better and (hopefully) fitter and fitter. In tandem with this I will try and ride my bike a few times a week, probably just around The Common a few times, which will also help me get fitter.

Hopefully these two things will be sufficient to help me stay fit and get fitter, but if you have any suggestions for any other forms of exercise I should try, please leave a comment. Mainly I want to do exercises that will ‘tone’ (is that the right word? It sounds really pompous) my stomach. I’m not saying a want a ‘six pack’ or anything stupid and vein like that, but I would like to stay thin. Thanks for any suggestions.

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