Archive for March, 2009

Thought Analysis

When I think about something, especially if it’s talking to someone about a particular personal issue, I always analyse, psychologically, what my motivations behind something might be. I’ve learned about psychoanalysis through English Literature.

Quite often, if it is me talking about a personal issue, I nearly always come to the conclusion that it’s just a way of drawing attention to myslelf, because I feel slightly left out. Therefore I don’t talk about these personal issues.

But what I’ve only just thought is this: what about if this analysis itself is there so I don’t have to talk about my personal issues, never getting them solved?

It’s not a question I can answer.


I Need A Girlfriend

I need a girlfriend.

I need to get experience with relationships. Too bad my lack of experience would probably lead me to botch the first one.

I need someone to talk to, as great as this blog is. Too bad I would probably bore any girlfriend to death with my depressive rants.

I need someone to keep my mind off my melancholy thoughts. Too bad that doing this will lead me to repress my depressing thoughts so that they badly resurface when I’m older.

No, I need to stay away from relationships. It will only lead to tears, and disappointment.


I think my problem is lack of personality. All my personality consists of is various quotation banks from popualar shows such as The Simpsons and Family Guy, and all I ever talk about is films, games and TV. How can anyone with a personality like that, ever get anywhere with women?

Primary school

I cannot believe I was still in primary school only seven years ago. It seems like several lifetimes away. I miss it so much, I want to go back there. I want to go back to seven years ago and stay there for all time, where I’m 10 forever, and never have any worries. 

Hell, I just want to go back and look around anyway, try to bring back all the brilliant memories.

I Don’t Understand How My Friends Can Stand Me…

I don’t understand how my friends can stand me. All I do is quote films and tv shows all day, or make sexual innuendos, and only rarly make constructive conversation.

They are just better friends than even I thought, which is saying something since I really appreciate them more than anything in the world.

Constructive Intellectualism

The sound of animated conversation
Permeates the air around
Sitting in these sunny climes
Shrouded in shadow, I make no sound

The sounds of a pen scribbling
Is noticed not by all
Enveloped in ‘constructive intellectualism’
My friends and I, seperated by a wall

What I’m doing I do not say
What I’m doing, nobody cares
For hapiness breeds carelessness
And sadness produces intellectual’s wares

Along comes a friend
Asking if I’m happy
I falsly reply ‘fine’
For my feelings cannot spoil others

Crushes Over Continents

Recently I’ve been wondering if it’s possible, via that great medium the Internet, to have a full-blown crush on someone. Before you get any strange ideas, I’m just talking about ordinary forums that anyone would visit.

You see, I’ve been thinking for a while now that I’ve developed a crush for someone on one of the forums I regularly visit. I sometimes talked to her over the  ‘personal message’ system in the forum about some personal stuff, and of course she regularly posts on the forum, like I do. She also posts funny videos on YouTube of funny stuff she gets up to.

I realised I had a crush a while back, and have actually kept a fair few PMs from her in my inbox in the forum as well. It seems a bit strange that I’ve developed a proper crush over the Internet, but then again I suppose it must happen a bit these days. She lives in America, hence the title.

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