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Posts Tagged ‘dating’

Moving Out?

I’ve recently decided that I want to get out of Southampton, where I’ve lived all my life, and go somewhere new; get a proper job, a proper flat or house share. To live independently. But it occurs to me that I haven’t really thought this through. I’ve spent my entire life living at home – how would I cope living alone or in a house share? I haven’t learnt how to cook or clean for myself, to be able to shop for myself. Admittedly, I already know what spending most of my time alone is like, as I spend almost all my day in my room, so that won’t probably be a problem, although not having anyone in the house/flat at all (unless I live in London with a houseshare) may turn out to actually bother me.

So, ok, I’d have to learn how to cook and clean, but at the end of the day, they’re not the most difficult tasks to master. Conversely, I’d have my own life, without anybody to look over my shoulder (or, if in a house share, a lot more freedom but perhaps some silent judging). I could finally actually try and use internet dating sites to have dates with girls without worrying about my parents judging me. I could go out when I wanted, do what I wanted (money-permitting of course). I just want some freedom, a change of pace, a change of scenery. I want to challenge myself for the first time in my life.

But before all of that, I have to find a job…

Falling Behind

While trying to get to sleep after a night out with my friends last night, I had a concerning realisation: my lack of experience ‘with the ladies’  means that I am falling further and further behind everyone else. I can just imagine, if I suddenly find a girl this year that wants to go on a date with me, me saying that I, a 21 year old man (and I am now a man, supposedly, I realise) has never been on a date before; if it progresses further and we sleep together then I have to explain that I’ve never had sex before. I mean, that’s crazy, isn’t it? If any girl I went out with heard any of that, she would laugh in my face. So then lack of experience breeds lack of experience and it’s an endless cycle. I’m not sure if there is any point at this stage of starting a relationship because of this. I dunno. I’m probably overreacting. But at the same time, it’s still a concern; how many people can say, at age 21, that they’ve never been on a date? Not many, I think…

Gone to the Glasses Side

For several years now – about 5 I think – I’ve known I’ve had a weak muscle in one of my eyes, and I’ve had 2 pairs of glasses in that time. The first pair I never wore, because I was too embarassed. The latest pair I got about a year ago, and I’ve worn them occasionally when I’m at home at once when I went into uni, because I’d been working hard on my dissertation and my eyes were feeling the strain.

But in the last few weeks I’ve been getting increasingly worried about my weak-muscled eye. When I look in the mirror I’m pretty sure this is slowly turning into a full-blown lazy eye. Given the way I look anyway, the last thing I need is to develop a proper lazy eye.

So I’m going to be wearing my glasses pretty much all the time now I think, except for maybe when I go out to town or something like that. Hopefully this will stop it getting any worse, even if it is too late to correct it in any way. I’d much rather wear glasses than have a lazy eye. Glasses can look kinda cool – a lazy eye is perhaps one of the worst (no offence to any people who have this unfortunate condition), because of its prominence, especially in romantic situations where the eye is a major focus point, things to have.

I just hope that by using my glasses much more from now on that it won’t get any worse 😐

Internet Dating Sites?

I’ve been thinking recently that I should try internet dating sites. I mean, it’s looking unlikely that I will meet anybody in the normal way any time soon, so why not have a go with it? I’m not saying I’m going to do it any time soon, though. I’d wait until I’ve finished uni at least, since it would only be adding another distraction to my life, and being in third year, about to start properly writing my dissertation, distractions is not what I need.

The only thing is, I wouldn’t want to pay to join any site, I’m not that desperate. Are there even any free dating sites? Surly there must be some somewhere, right? I haven’t looked into it so I don’t know, this is only really a ‘thought experiment’ at this stage. Since most people on the internet love things being free – just look at the massive open-source community – there must be some, wouldn’t you think?

At the same time though, even if there was such a site, would they even have anybody my age on there? Isn’t internet dating for, I dunno, 30, 40+ people? Would they even have any members who live in Southampton? Where do people my age turn to when they want an easier way to find a relationship? Do they just not think about it in that way?

[Crowdsourcing] What Film To See

Okay, today I have a dilemma. I am thinking of going to the cinema with my girlfriend this weekend but I don’t know what to see. I know that comedy/romance/romantic comedy is the best bet for dates, so I’ve narrowed it down that far. I was hoping to ‘crowdsource’ (okay, perhaps that’s too fancy a concept to describe this bit of advice-asking, but it might make more people view this post and put down their advice) a resolution.

So, if you could read this list of films and post your advice on which I should see with my girlfriend in the comments section, that would be great! Thanks.

I must say, reading those wikipedia articles on them, I am leaning towards Friends With Benefits now. However, your advice is still very welcome so I can be sure I’m making the right decision!

I Asked Her. She Said Yes!

I was talking to J-O on Skype yesterday. After talking for a while we started talking about relationships and stuff. It started when she said she has chosen her prom dress. I said “whatever dress you get I’m sure you’ll look great in it :)”. She said thanks, that I will she will show me one day, then I said “perhaps you’d look even better out of it 😉 lol :D”. She then said “who knows you could know one day 😀 lol”, to which I replied “lol I look forward to it :D”.

Then she asked a really awkward question. She asked “have you ever made love?”. Slightly taken aback, I decided to tell the truth and said “er… no 😳 . have you?” to which she said “yeah 😐 it is the greatest thing in life”. Then I told her that I’d never had a girlfriend before. She assured me that I would, in time, that I was “such a nice boy”, to which I replied “thanks, you’re nice too :)”.

It was then I decided to tell her. I told her that I wanted to tell her something, but didn’t know if it was a good idea, or how to say it. She told me to say it. By this point, I was so nervous I was literally shaking like a leaf. So then this happened:

me: I really like you. A lot…
J-O: i like you too
me: 🙂
J-O: you are very very kind
me: thanks
J-O-: that was it?
me: well yeah but I’m not sure if you quite realised what I meant…
J-O: what do you mean exactly
me: erm… well…
I fancy you (I presume you know what they phrase means)
She didn’t understand. She asked me to do an audio call, but she couldn’t really hear me. So I typed “what I’m trying to say is that I would like to go out with you”. And she said yes. She said that she would go out with me. I was still shaking, but started to calm down. I couldn’t believe it. She actually said yes! A girl that I liked actually likes me back and would like to go out with me! I was so excited. Thoughts about how she might not be accepted at university here did cross my mind, but I quickly forgot about that.
I still can’t believe it. This is one of the happiest days of my life, the best news ever. I just hope she gets accepted at Solent and we can go out with each other. Fingers crossed it will happen.

“Can I Bring A Friend Along?”!?


What Really Grinds My Gears

What Really Grinds My Gears

I’ll tell you what really grinds my gears – when you’re trying to get a girl alone so you can tell her how you feel about, but when you ask her to come she asks “can I bring a friend?”.

All guys know and hate this situation. We hate it becuase there’s no way of telling wether this is an innocent thing that girls just do, or if it’s a concious tactic to ‘let you down gently’. It’s probably a bit of both, but we don’t really know. Girls, please tell us why you do this?

How can we ask you out when you’re surrounded by your friends? You should no this is something we cannot do. Is it that you realise what we’re doing and are trying to reject us politely? Is it just that you like to see us tortured so? Is it a control thing? Is it that you want us to make our intentions clear from the outset, wanting us to be really obvious and say “I want to spend some time alone with you to get to know you better”, and which point you know exactly what our plans are.

Tell us!

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