Final Nail in the Coffin? (J-O)

About 1 hour ago I got a text from J-O saying “Sorry, omg u can’t believe it…” I asked what was going on and she said “One of my friends from here came back and gave me a gold necklace, gold one, two hearts…”. I asked if it was a male friend, and she said yes. I replied, with a terrible feeling in my stomach “That’s nice I suppose. I guess he must like you a lot.” She said “yeah… just I am so excited, never got any gold present before.” I replied “Yeah fair enough, nice :)…” and then I next wrote in that text, very begrudgingly, but what else could I say?: “Hope it goes well, whatever happens”. She said thanks and asked me how I was. I lied, saying I was ok. I thought about asking if she liked him back, and remembering what happened when I asked that about another friend before, I decided not to. I decided I must do the decent thing, so I eventually texted her: “Just if it makes you happy then I can be happy for you, no matter how I feel”. She replied just “Thanks a lot, hope you don’t feel bad”… (hope I don’t feel bad! She knows how I’m going to be bloody feeling! What a stupid, condescending thing to say!) …”because I really think that you are an awesome boy”.

So, that’s just great! Just as things between us seemed to be looking up, this has happened. It looks like she’ll finally be out of my hands for good; if they do get together, which by the sound of it she wants to, that’s me out of the window completely. She now won’t consider staying over my house when she comes to Southampton: if she comes at all. I know they aren’t together yet; I’m being very pessimistic. Yet I suspect that in the next few days it will happen. Fuck my life. Fuck my life!

  1. Anonymous
    05/01/2012 at 5:41 am

    Why the hell is she telling you this?! Damn that girl.

    If someone shier than you can get girls, it should make you optimistic not pessimistic. It shows your game right now is good enough. Go out and have some fun at the clubs. It’s nice to be pleased for your friend, but focus on yourself. Make your goal not just hooking up with someone, but rather hitting on five girls. And when you get rejected (because that is what happens when anyone hits on 5 girls) laugh at it.

    This is a game. Not in the sense that it’s manipulative, but rather that it’s meant to be fun. Play it.

  2. bmweed
    05/01/2012 at 2:39 pm

    Remember as well, if you think that you are going to be entering a relationship with JO you will be giving off ‘attached’ signals almost without thinking.

    Like the post above me, I think that the next time you go out, make it a mental priority to hit on 5 girls (not all at the same time!)

    Change your game a little with them all, remember, eye contact (but no staring!) first. If you can catch a girls eye hold the look for a second, then smile at her and look away. if you look back and she is still looking at you, that is a great signal.
    Mouthing ‘Hi’ or giving a wider smile is a great idea, if she smiles back, or even says ‘Hi’ you know that you can walk over there and say something utterly random or cheesy. Chat-up lines are cheesy because everyone uses them – and everyone uses them because they WORK. Avoid the ‘Get your coat, you’ve pulled’ options, but a compliment like ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone with eyes as blue as yours, I couldn’t stop staring’ is nice.
    Remember, she’ll be with her mates, so smile & flatter them all, but make sure you only offer the ‘Main’ girl a drink.
    If possible, involve your mates too, ‘I’m here with this lot’ – your mates will probably come over and dispatch a few of her mates if they are being proper wing men.

    And please, please, don’t always hit on the stunner. You are more likely to be rejected by the prettiest girl in the group than you are the second prettiest. If you see a girl slightly on the outside of a group (think of nature! take the weak one down!) she will be much more likely to respond to your attention positively. Remember, girls who are shy (like you!) will feel a little left out of groups, and you may find you’ve got loads in common.

    I want to write you a book about this, but the one thing you need to remember, as long as JO says you are ‘just friends’ – even if her actions differ – all you are is FRIENDS. So please go out and hit on girls, have a laugh and a couple of kisses.

    It is a game. Its gambling – and you can hit a jackpot at then end of it all.

  1. 06/01/2012 at 10:27 pm

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