Home > Life, Personal, Self-reflection, Sex, Thoughts > Self-pleasure


I’ve been thinking about doing a post on this for a while now, but I wasn’t sure about it because (a) it’s awkward (to write and to read) (b) it’s really very personal (c) it’s something I don’t think people really want to know about, for those just mentioned reasons. It’s on what I’m going to euphemistically call ‘self-pleasure’. That reminds me – the other day a guy at my work who is 17/18 didn’t know what ‘euphemism’ meant. I really do weep for humanity! But I digress. Due to the already mentioned sensitive nature of the post I will put the main bit under a ‘read more’ break. Read it at your own mental risk! 😛

So. ‘Self-pleasure’. That ol’ chestnut! Pretty much every guy does it. From what I understand, some girls do it too, but only a small minority (though they seem to be willing to do it an awful lot of they’re on Stickam or ChatRoulette, if some of the, *ahem*, websites I visit are to be believed to be typical of what goes on on those sites). I have no idea why that’s the case. Perhaps men just do have higher sex drives than women, or maybe it is to do with the fact the male sex organ is on the outside of the body, as some say. But that’s an area I’m not going to go into. I’m just going to talk about male ‘self-pleasure’.

As far as I understand, most men ‘pleasure themselves’ several times a week on average, according to statistics (that all-knowing thing, as if ‘statistics’ can tell you everything). I’m not sure how accurate that is. All I know that I do it practically every day. I have several sites that I visit, all free; only a mug pays for porn these days. Recently, though, I’ve been trying to do it less. Unfortunately, I’ve found it very difficult. I think it is safe to say that to a certain extent I am addicted; it’s very difficult to not do it.

I think there is something to be said about the fact that the male sex organ is on the outside, and it so obvious when you’re aroused. I mean, as a man, I can’t even understand how women realise they’re aroused because as a man, I am reliant on my penis to tell me I am aroused by becoming erect (although, it can also do so at random times, when there is no reason to be aroused). Of course, I know when I like the look of a girl, but when that happens, it’s the way you know you really, really are getting excited about any girl. With the sex organ on the outside, as such, it’s so easy, so casual, just to reach down your trousers and ‘have a bit of fun’.

What’s my point? I don’t know really. I just find it strange how men do this while women (on the whole) don’t. I find it disconcerting how I seem to be almost addicted to it. I’m worried that it may affect my sexual performance in the long run. I wonder if it will change when I finally have sex (not that that’ll be any time soon).

Now I’d like to leave on a funny note instead of an awkward one. As a reward for reading through this disgustingly frank post, here is a sketch from a TV show which is very funny and also shares the same theme of this post:

  1. Hannah
    08/12/2011 at 1:01 am

    It’s advised that if you know you’re going to have sex that day, you should beat it earlier in the day to last longer.

    BUT guys who become addicted to habitual “self-pleasure” (and are trying to hide it) have been known to “loose it” too soon (possibly before even starting) in sex, because they’re psychologically telling their their bodies to hurry up and finish before they get caught. So if you’re going to do it… take your time.

    Also, I find it very interesting that you automatically associated self-pleasure with porn. I guess using the imagination and just relying on the pure physical feel to be aroused is not so popular in the male realm.

    • 08/12/2011 at 3:50 pm

      Well, porn is the main thing I do when I do it. I used to use my imagination when I was with J-O but now I don’t have anybody to think about.

  2. 08/12/2011 at 5:37 am

    Don’t buy in to the myth that girls don’t masturbate. It’s bullshit. They just don’t talk about it as much.

    And you’re only addicted if doing it causes problem in your life. Like rather wanting to beat one off than having sex, or not going to work/school to stay home rubbing… That’s addiction.

    I’m also a firm believer that people who masturbate know more about their body than non-masturbators, which will help you in future sexual encounters.

    In short, don’t fret, rub on.

  3. bmweed
    08/12/2011 at 12:27 pm

    Kissowa :
    Don’t buy in to the myth that girls don’t masturbate. It’s bullshit. They just don’t talk about it as much.

    This is, in fact – True.

    • 08/12/2011 at 4:01 pm

      You said that like you were on Would I Lie To You lol 😀

      • bmweed
        08/12/2011 at 9:25 pm


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