Home > Girls, Life, Personal, Relationships, Self-reflection, Thoughts > Kissing: Learning on the Job

Kissing: Learning on the Job

Before J-O I’d never kissed a girl before; she’d had boyfriends before, one for over a year. As such the kissing is not great for her. Ordinary kissing is fine, because it’s just natural. It’s ‘french kissing’ that is difficult, since it’s something that’s invented by humans (supposedly because some french village banned sex. Or something. Though that may be something that would set off a klaxon in the ‘General Ignorance’ section of QI). Although I’m not sure that it was ‘invented’ actually. Perhaps it’s just more difficult. I don’t know. Anyway, I’mย digressing. The point is, it’s difficult to get good at. I’m getting pretty good at doing an ordinary french kiss, where you sort of use your tongues for a few seconds, finish the kiss (as in bringing your lips together, you know. It’s difficult to describe these things in writing, isn’t it?) and start over again.

However, last week when we were in bed kissing she showed me how to french kiss for longer, a sort of french kiss that lasts for a minute or so. With it you don’t exactly kiss, I’d say. I mean, your mouths are in the kissing position but your lips aren’t really doing anything, it’s just the tongues move around. Now, I don’t know if I was doing it wrong (though she didn’t say I was doing it wrong so I assume I was doing what she wanted) but it seemed strange to me. It was pretty much just our tongues doing a strange dance around each other; not so much touching, rubbing against each other but sort of exploring around the sides of each other’s tongues. It was really strange to me, it didn’t really seem like kissing at all; I found it quite boring actually.

So I’d like to ask you, my readers: does this sound like (A) she’s kissing in a strange way (B) I was doing it wrong but she didn’t tell me (which would be strange as she’d just been directing me on how to kiss a few seconds before) or (C) I was doing it right and it’s strange that I didn’t like it.

  1. Hannah
    26/11/2011 at 5:47 am

    Everyone’s got different kissing techniques, but doing just the “tongue dance” (as you called it) for an extended period of time is kinda boring. If you get the opportunity again, try mixing it up on her and impress her with your kissing knowledge (which I will now supply you with):

    -try doing the tongue dance with just the tips of your tongue. don’t let her deepen the kiss. you control the situation. its kinda a teaser.
    -go full on tongue, like try having your tongue touch as much of her tongue as possible deep in her mouth, but don’t choke her. It’s a little strange at first, but it grows on you.
    -try biting and sucking on her lip. don’t be afraid to be a little rough here. I’ve had someone suck on my lip so hard it swelled up 3 times its size…. and it was amazing.
    -if you feel bold try sucking on her tongue.. I still havent quite gotten that skill under control, but its interesting.
    -mix it up. kiss her cheeks, her neck, her forehead. nibble on her ear.
    -hand placement isnt huge but it can make a difference. put your hand behind her neck (so you’re supporting her head and your thumb is against her jaw) run your fingers along her cheeks and through her hair. Pull her to you by putting your hand on the small of her back and bringing her in close.

    Does that help at all?

    • 26/11/2011 at 12:13 pm

      Thanks for the advice. I think you’re right about me taking more control.
      As for your other points, I’ve already done the second and fifth ones. I like full on tongue, it’s nice. I also like kissing her on her cheeks and forehead e.t.c., I dunno why really, it’s just nice, sort of cute. I also like stroking her hair and her cheeks for the same reason. I also like kissing her hand, especially when we’re walking together. ๐Ÿ™‚
      The third one I might just try the sucking, the biting not so much just because if I get it wrong it’s going to hurt her, which I don’t want. The sucking on her tongue one I will try at some point too. Thanks again ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. 26/11/2011 at 11:31 am

    Omg, I’ve had to catch up with all the posts I missed… have not blogged in ages. I was pleasantly surprised to hear you and your girl finaly met, and happy to hear about all your ‘first’ experiences… but it does seem at points that she’s taking you for a ride. Just be careful and go in with your eyes open. On the topic of this post… haha… everyone has different styles/tastes. I don’t particularly enjoy extended tongue action myself ๐Ÿ˜‰ Not many can pull it off well so maybe you might want to keep it to just intermittent brushes instead of a full-on slobber fest.

    • 26/11/2011 at 12:20 pm

      Yeah it’s nice to see you’re back, it’s great to see a regular returning! Hope life is treating you well ๐Ÿ™‚
      Yeah I am still quite cautious, I’m not jumping back in feet first again, I’m standing my ground where possible this time. On the kissing, I think next time I won’t be so adventurous, try and take a bit more control, try something easier, more conventional.
      Thanks for the comment ๐Ÿ™‚

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