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An Awesome and… Interesting… Night Out

Yesterday I went to Portsmouth, firstly to do some uni work, but also secondly to attend my friend’s birthday. I met him and a friend of his at the uni library and we went to KFC. Then we went back to his, stopping at the Co-Op on the way, where I got two four-packs of Buds for £6. We spent the next few hours with a few of his friends, watching Big Bang Theory and drinking. Then we played Ring of Fire, which I wasn’t very good at because I was paying too much attention to selecting music from his iPod to play on the speakers, so I had to drink a lot, especially on the “last one to do whatever has to drink” cards. We had shots of vodka and wine (because they ran out of vodka).

After that we went out to a pub for about an hour or two. I only had two drinks there since I was already pretty drunk from drinking the 6 Buds. By this time it was about midnight and some of the group decided they’d head back to their houses. Only four of us stayed out. We were wondering through the main pub street near the Guildhall, thinking about what club or pub to go to.

It was at that point that a woman came up to us and gave us cards that apparently got us free entry to this strip club they have there. I thought it was funny but didn’t think we’d actually go in. But my friend decided he wanted to go in (it was his birthday after all), so we did go in. I wasn’t really prepared for what I saw when I got in there.

I said to myself that I wouldn’t pay for a stripper because for one thing, it costs money that would be better spent (in my opinion) trying to get with a girl in a club, which can lead to better things (although that wouldn’t happen). Secondly, it’s a lot of money in itself (£20 for a lap-dance). Thirdly, you’re not allowed to touch them (obviously) which means that it seems quite pointless – all about the visual, not the physical, and I get enough of the visual with porn.

But several women walking around in nothing but lingerie tends to do strange things to a supposedly fairly intelligent male mind. Also, when everyone else has decided they’re going to go for it you tend not to want to be left out – that is to say, sitting alone while they go off in the back with no company aside from the women walking around in lingerie who only talk to you when they want you to pay them for a dance. Yes, you know that’s the only reason they talk to you, but they do it in such a way that you can’t help but find sincere and not just money-grabbing.

The actual ‘event’, shall we say, was a bit strange. You go into a lounge area, behind a curtain. Since I was quite drunk I didn’t find it as exciting as I thought I might (no-touching non-withstanding). But it was still very… nice. You tend to forget everything else when there is a girl in front of you stripping, rubbing up against your crotch with their bottom or mouth or rubbing up against your leg with their body. Especially for people (i.e. me) who have not got laid yet. Once it was over – which was a bit too quickly for my liking – she offered “for another £20, a two for one deal, with a lesbian show” (that is to say, another £20 for another lap-dance/strip with two girls for me, with some lesbian action between the two). I was tempted but managed to resist, saying “no thanks”.

So I went back out and sat with my friends, and we all bought a drink each. After a short while some girls came up to us again (different ones), and asked if we wanted more. We initially resisted but soon gave in – as I say, it’s too tempting when they’re standing there with hardly any clothes on. So another £20 was handed over and the same happened again (albeit with a different woman, doing a few different moves, with a bonus of a kiss on the cheek, which was a nice touch. It seems to be a ploy for more money as one of the other guys cited this as a major reason for going for a third dance, the second with this girl, after which he revealed that, since he’d payed so much, she said he didn’t have to worry so much about the no-touching rule, although how he took advantage of this, he didn’t say.) I then regretted not going for the earlier offer since I would have spent the same amount of money but got an extra girl and a ‘lesbian show’ thrown in.

So yeah, it was an interesting night and another first for me!

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