Home > Girls, Life, Personal, Relationships, Self-reflection, Thoughts > Welcome to Cry City

Welcome to Cry City

It finally hit me this morning. It was because I talked to her on Skype for the first time since we split up. I decided to let her to all the talking, but after saying “Hi, how are you?” “Fine” to each other, she didn’t saying anything until she said “I am going to bed, goodnight” 30 mins later. I finally realised I missed her, but it wasn’t until this morning it fully sunk in.

You see, when I got up I began to think that I should again try and meet up with her and actually talk about how she feels about me, us, and so I began to think of the arguments I would use to try and persuade her to give us a second chance. One of them involved asking something along the lines of “what happened to the old J-O I used to know, the one that used to say all the things she’d like to do with me?” and “I know you had a nice time when we met, because you were hugging me, kissing me, and when I said how I wanted to go somewhere more private, how I wanted to make love with you, you said you did too”.

So, of course, that got me thinking about how much I enjoyed the day we finally met, how well it seemed to go. I started to think how we hugged each other, how we kissed each other, how happy we seemed together. I started to wonder how something that seemed so perfect could be thrown anyway for reasons I can’t fathom. I started to cry. Not too much though, because I am not alone at home today. But I still feel like crying now, though I can hold it in. I miss her. I still love her. I want to be with her. I want her to want to be with me. I don’t even know what she thinks of me, and I wished I did.

I am so alone…

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