Current Situation Part II

Today me and J-O had a talk, I’m not really sure how it went. I was crying through most of it. I am typing this out quite quickly because I don’t want to dwell on it too much just at this moment.

We both aired our views on our relationship. She partly conceded (only as a throwaway comment) that she may have expected too much of me. She got upset at one point, again on the subject on not being able to meet her when she first arrived in the UK and not calling her for the first few days (though I only did that because she got upset with me before and I wanted to give her breathing room. When I said this to her she said that for the future, I should no that that was the exact wrong thing to do, I should have called and tried to patch it up). She said it made it look like I didn’t care about her. She hasn’t dumped me but she doesn’t know how she really feels. She complained about the problems with us finding each other on the day we finally did meet.

She did say though that she wasn’t just concentrating on the negatives, she admitted that she did mostly have a good time on the day we met. That was the major positive for me. That and she says we might be able to meet on Wednesday (and I really do hope so given the next paragraph).

The worst thing though was that she said she was really tired of the current family she is with (the agency still hasn’t found her another family, she’s still with the second family) and she is seriously thinking of going back to Bulgaria. She tried to imply that I tried to persuade her to stay when she wasn’t happy, even though I did nothing of the sort. Yes, I tried to say that maybe she should stick with the second family because it was better than the first and might be better than the third, but I didn’t say that she should stay in the UK at all costs, even if she’s unhappy.

I have no idea what’s going to happen.

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