OK, I haven’t got around to posting about how my meet-up with J-O went on Thursday. As is usual with me, I find that when I’m happy I cannot be bothered to write; as soon as something bad happens, I’m straight back here. I assure you that I will post about it tomorrow, since I will probably still be in a bad mood.

Now to talk about why I’m in a bad mood.

I was talking to J-O on Skype (she has a laptop now, which I helped her buy on Thursday) and I asked how her day was. I know she isn’t finding being an au-pair good, but I still think it is good to ask. I always understood it – it certainly was what everyone says, though not what I practice myself (aside from on this blog, which I wouldn’t say quite counts in the same way) – that talking about things, sharing them, eases the burden of them. She said she had had a bad day, and I asked her why. I know generally why she isn’t happy, as I said, but I asked her specifically why she wasn’t happy today so she could talk about it, share the burden, help me to understand so I could in turn help her.

This is what happened instead:

Me: how was work today?
Her: didnt like it
Her:  how was ur day
Me:  😦
Me:  my day was fine
Me:  how come your day was bad?
Her:  of how come because of all the things i have to do
Her:  i have no space here
Her:  i cant rest even for 10 mins
Her:  its not any quite place
Me: I’m sorry my angel
Me: I know it’s hard, why you’re finding it hard
Me:  I’m asking to understand and try to help but
Her:  what kinda silly question?
Her:  help how by asking such questions
Me:  😦
Her:  i am going to watch a movie i am not in a good mood
Me: 😦
Me: ok my angel
Me: just know that I am only asking to try and understand so I can try to help
Me:  just to be somebody you can talk to
Her: : u cant
Her:  understand
Her:  if u were here
Her:  u would
Her:  but in that way no
Me: I know, my angel
Me:  but
Me: there is no use getting annoyed at me for trying
Me: I mean, you can if you want to, I understand it, but it does not seem fair when I’m trying my best 😦
Me:  I only want to help

And I went on, trying to explain how I was trying my hardest, in good faith, because I want to help. But I got no further response from her. Then I decided to remind her that it has been 1 year and 2 months since I asked her out on Skype, how it has made me so happy and how I hope it has made her happy, too. I made it clear that if I did not, then I can understand it if she broke up with me. I didn’t say this to try some sort of guilt trip. I said it because I mean it. I said it because I love her and I want to make her happy.

Am I being unreasonable? I don’t think so. I’m only trying my best. It seems very ungrateful. I am trying. Can anybody ask for more? It’s so confusing. Just on Tuesday we were all loved-up. Now she is saying that she is annoyed with me for trying to help her deal with her problems.

I don’t understand women.

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