It Is Now! Sort of.

They think it’s all over… it is now! Sort of. It turns out then when we had a talk the other day about her feeling lonely and we would see how it goes when we meet, what she meant was that we should just be friends for now, until she comes over.Yep. The ‘friend zone’. To be honest, I was devastated. I cried. I didn’t want anything to do with her for a few days. I could feel my old, depressed self returning. We had  talk about how I was feeling, and it did kind of make me feel better. I don’t know what to think really. I still like her, and she says she still likes me, but it seems strange to me that, given those facts, and the fact we’ve been ‘together’ 8 months, that we would take a break now.

She said it was to stop her feeling lonely, yet I don’t understand how it will make much difference if we’re together or apart to stop her feeling this way. That’s why I said she was free to see other guys in-between now and when we meet. I asked her if there were any guys she liked there in Bulgaria, she seemed to say yes in a way, but she didn’t seem that interested. So she might just ‘have some fun’ with some guys or whatever, I don’t know, take her mind off us, make her not feel lonely.

I dunno, maybe it’ll be ok in the end. But I can’t help think it won’t. I can’t help thinking it was stupid of me to think I would be happy, that I would find somebody. I dunno. I can already feel myself returning to my old, depressed ways. I have no idea when she’ll come over. I certainly don’t think it’ll be soon, even though she’s got the results of her English exam. I don’t think she’ll come over until uni starts, in 10 months time. In that time she might get a boyfriend. I know I won’t get a girlfriend in that time.

Will I still like her then? I don’t know. I’ll just have to see how everything pans out.

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  1. 23/12/2010 at 11:05 am

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