Home > Girls, Life, Personal, Principles, Relationships, Self-reflection, Significant Events, Thoughts > Fantastic News! But I Can’t Celebrate Too Soon

Fantastic News! But I Can’t Celebrate Too Soon

J-O got into Solent. I found out when she sent me a text yesterday. I was overjoyed. But then when I was talking to her later, that euphoria was severely dampened. She was concerned that the course she applied for there would not be useful for the future, that she would have to consider with her parents very carefully if she was going to accept the place.

As you can imagine, this didn’t fill me with hope that I would see her. Especially when she said that ‘no matter where I go in England, I will still be close to you’. It doesn’t sound good. If she didn’t come to Solent, then I don’t think anything could happen between us. Long distance relationships are difficult enough when people have been together for years, let alone just starting out.

In a way though, I understand and accept that this is something she needs to consider. As I said to her, I’d rather she took the decision that she thinks is best for her, rather than worrying about me. She needs to do something that will be useful for the future, that’s the point – for me to encourage her to do otherwise would be selfish of me, and wrong.

She says she might make the decision today, after talking to her parents about it. So today may be make or break for me. I’ll either end the day knowing my ‘girlfriend’ is coming here or that she is not. I suspect she will not come here. It’s just my luck. I sometimes think the world doesn’t want me to get a girlfriend, to be happy. I sometimes think that I’ll always be alone. This will be just another chapter in that story. Although this particular may set me back considerably, emotionally. I was so close, yet so far… quite literally.

It looks like a few more years of loneliness (at least) for me. But it shouldn’t be too bad. I’m used to it by now. Kinda.

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  1. puregreenjade
    10/06/2010 at 5:21 am

    Hang in there… love will find a way and if it doesn’t, you know it wasn’t meant to be. I hope she decides to go to Solent, and perhaps she could tailor her subjects more towards what’s useful or take a minor or something.

  1. 09/06/2010 at 6:39 pm

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