One Of Those Moods

Well, I’m in one of those depressing moods again. Great. Well, ‘depressing’ is probably too dramatic a word, but it’ll do. One of those moods where I criticise myself, as usual.

I just think I’m to dependant on my friends for my happiness. I’m too needy towards them. I always need to talk to them or see them, but when I talk to them on MSN I usually can’t think of anything interesting to say and whenever friends come over I always get the sense that what we do bores them. I love socialising with my friends but I’m no good at it – they must hate me for it. I know I would, if I was them.

When I get like this, my first instinct is to ‘cry out’, to try and make some talk to me about it – but that only encourages me. I try to resist ‘crying out’ like this, but I mostly can’t. When nobody notices, am I grateful but worried at the same time – grateful because I don’t want to put them though talking about it, but worried that they don’t care. I know they do care, but in those situations I can’t help feeling like they don’t. I just continuously try and convince myself that if I don’t talk with them about it, everyone is better off.

I’m so silly, stupid, full of contradictions, I’m surprised my personality has never just imploded.

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  1. 22/03/2010 at 3:20 pm

    Sorry you’ve got nobody you feel you can talk to 😦 Maybe you need new friends?

    And, afterall, isn’t that what a blog is for? Something to bounce your thoughts off of? We’re here for you 🙂

    • 22/03/2010 at 5:59 pm

      It’s not that I don’t feel that I can’t talk to them, it’s just that I don’t want to bore them with my ‘problems’.
      Thanks for the support though 🙂

  1. 23/03/2010 at 5:00 pm

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