Sudden Attack Of Depression

I had a sudden attack of depression today. Well, at least, what I’d call depression. I’m not exactly sure how badly you have to feel to call it proper ‘depression’, but suffice to say I wasn’t feeling very good about myself or my situation.

You see, I suddenly realised that I’ll only really be able to see people during the holidays, unlike in college and school where we all saw each other every day basically. I suddenly really missed everyone. Not that I didn’t miss them before, but today it was rather more acute – I almost cried, but that’s by-the-by.

I’m just so used to being around them most days, that to suddenly realise I’d only be seeing them every 3 months or so seemed like a scary prospect. As you know if you’ve been reading my blog regularly, I live for my friends, and so you can imagine how I must feel now they’re gone. I feel like my life has no purpose, that I have nothing, nobody, to live for. (Okay I do sound kinda suicidal there but, don’t worry, I could never do that).

I honestly don’t know what to do. I thought about qutting university, but that won’t bring my friends back, and it won’t put my in good stead for any future job prospects. It’s all screwed up. M was meant to come over yesterday but didn’t, I think that might have had something to do with it. Who knows? All I know is, all my friends are off having a good time with new friends and I’m stuck here all alone, with my pathetic excuse for an existence. Oh well, things could be worse I suppose…

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