Home > Life, Personal, Self-reflection, Thoughts > In A Bad Place

In A Bad Place

I am in a bad place right now. Recent revelations, of J-O’s new relationship, has sent me into a tailspin. I thought I was moving on, but once more I realise that I have yet to do any such thing. One year on, the wound is yet to heal. I’m not sure how I even feel about the whole thing. I want to be her friend, because I still care about her as a friend, yet I am not fully over her as more than a friend. I have spent this last year with few emotional outlets, save this blog. Most of all I miss just having her to talk to. I miss having any friends to talk to. It sounds stupid but she was my world for such a long time. Without her to chat to, I am not sure what would have happened to me during university. Before her, I had nobody else; after her, I have nobody else. Since university finished at the beginning of June all I have done is sat at home, trying to apply for jobs but getting nowhere, not even getting a single interview. My current part-time job is becoming so mind-numbingly boring and frustrating that I can barely summon the strength to do anything while there. When I am at home I stay in my room, blobbed in front of my laptop or PS3, and I sometimes spend about 5 mins staring into space thinking of things to do. It’s got to the point where I can’t even be bothered to play MW3, and playing the latest CODs online 24/7 has been my favorite pastime for the last 5 years. I want to move to a different city, to have a new and interesting job, but instead I’m stuck at my parents house with nothing to do and nothing I want to do. I keep meaning to start writing something, maybe a novel, but I can’t be bothered, even though I have nothing else to do.

What I would like, if nothing else, is a hug. A nice long hug that makes me feel like I’m not alone. A nice long hug that says, hey, everything may seem bad now, but it can only get better, right?

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  1. thisshygirl
    21/07/2012 at 1:49 am

    trust me, things will get better, maybe not tomorrow or the day after, but eventually they will. And you’re not alone, lots of people, including me, have felt the way you feel now.

  2. 21/07/2012 at 1:49 am

    I’m often harsh on you and your posts, but I am here. You’re free to come talk to me whenever you feel like it. My skype is the same as my screen-name.

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